Obscure-Obscene

I'll sit in my bedroom, picking at my fingernails, counting the seconds. Minutes. Hours. Just waiting for them to fall asleep. As they slumber, deep in the stages of sleep, in dreams or in nightmares, I creep into the bathroom, my church of sorts, and give my pain a release. 3:00 in the morning. Now its 4:00. Now I'm cleaning the blood from the bathtub, the sink and the floors. Now I am putting my blades away. Crawling silently to my beds arms, for it is the only one who will have me after i defile my own body. Tomorrow it will be the same thing. I'll be waiting.